I wasted a whole week not tracking. I think I ate mindfully for the most part but all went out the door with the pita chips last night. I cried. I told Sean when he came home what I did. I felt ashamed as I told my biggest cheerleader that I got up finally and dumped the bag in the garbage making sure that all of the pieces of pita went way down deep in the trash.
I know it was just a small bump in the road along my journey but I HATE the feeling like I lost control. I have been there, done that and I never want to go back. I thought for a while if it was a binge and I seriously don't think so. My former binges were planned out. I used to plan all of the food out in my mind and then go make my take out purchases and line all of the food up to savor. This was different mentally for me and I know I am strong enough to move on from this.
So today was supposed to be my first weigh in at my new Friday meeting day/ time. The meeting is about 10 minutes from my house and seems like a lot of people participate in the group and it's a good mix of people. Honestly between the crappy weather and the week I had I just do not feel like going. I know I will see a gain. Not that I haven't seen them before but I feel guilty about not tracking for the entire week. My mind is not set on skipping it yet, but I'm just not sure I want to go.
So that is my confession today. lol I really have been doing well through all of the busy stuff I've been doing lately and I have been proud of myself! But I just wanted to be honest with everyone that I do struggle, I do need support, and I'm not ashamed to admit my failures. Once you lose weight you are not CURED of any problems or issues you have with food. My choices along my journey now are much better. I am in this battle to win it!
Tracking this week will be KEY for me! I plan on rocking the PointsPlus plan like no one's business! lol Anyone else need to hit the RE-START button with me? Come on we can do it together!!
:) Thanks for reading guys! I appreciate it!!
Have a great day!!
BYE!
Oh, man. Do I know exactly what you're talking about. I've had about three weeks of less than stellar performance. I missed my meeting last week, this week I'm just sick. No tracking. Very little exercise. I've not gone way overboard, trying to track in my head, but I've gained, I know. Bumps suck. My meeting is Sunday, and no, I'm not going to blow my last two days off, but Sunday starts the tracking. I still have about 30 pounds to go. I need to move my butt. Thanks for your honesty. Go to your meeting, shake of the yucks and get back to your awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteOh, man. Do I know exactly what you're talking about. I've had about three weeks of less than stellar performance. I missed my meeting last week, this week I'm just sick. No tracking. Very little exercise. I've not gone way overboard, trying to track in my head, but I've gained, I know. Bumps suck. My meeting is Sunday, and no, I'm not going to blow my last two days off, but Sunday starts the tracking. I still have about 30 pounds to go. I need to move my butt. Thanks for your honesty. Go to your meeting, shake of the yucks and get back to your awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteTj I say go to the weigh in. Make today the start of a new week and do what you know to do. Because we all know that you are a rockstar.
ReplyDeleteLike you said it's a tiny bump in the road but end it TJ, don't let it get to you for days and days. Think about all the good days you have had.
Thank you for sharing your struggles. Sometimes I feel that there must be something wrong with me because we put our best out there... and that's what I end up reading. I read about awesome weeks and I didn't have one lol SO thank you!
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to all of us, don't forget that. Maybe you can still go to the meeting and not weigh in? Or the hell with it, just step on the scale and move on. I know I need to do that. Hand in there TJ. You can rock this! I'm going to have to team up with you and press that re-start button. I'm going to re-read all the material this weekend and start fresh Monday after my meeting. :)
Love ya!
I say go weigh in, because that would be such a strong thing to do! :) And know that we are all here and we all love you no matter what the number is!! I am glad that you had a good visit with your brother! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree, I say go to your weigh in. we all have slip ups. Start fresh today, you will do it. I've eaten too many chips at sittings too. But you have the tools to get back on track.
ReplyDeleteAww, Tracey, it's okay. It happens. The best part about it now is that you not only recognize what you're doing and why, but you know how to stop. The one thing about food addictions is, like every other addiction, it never truly goes away. You just learn how to manage it one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteToday is a new day. Just keep swimmin'. :)
I hope you're able to forgive yourself...being forgiving doesn't mean that you will now automatically go and eat bags of chips as a matter of course.
ReplyDeleteI hate to see people being so hard on themselves...I guess because it takes one to know one. Beating yourself up over this will not make it better!
I say go to the weigh in, too. If I didn't...it would be so easy to say well, I will wait another week to restart.
ReplyDeleteYou are strong enough, and we are cheering for you!
J
I know exactly where you are, but my latest binge started at Christmas and I got so lost that I am only back now...once I eat some bad things and don't track them it's almost like I give myself permission to go off the rails and eat what I've been missing...I'm back and I'm glad you are too :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Paula. Thank you for sharing your struggles. You're far from alone. I've had a similar week, although I've had my hand in the tortilla chips all week.
ReplyDeleteAs you well know, the success comes not with constantly being OP but in dealing with setbacks, putting them behind us, and moving on. And that starts now :-)
Big hugs!! You are not alone but you got up and made the change...that's where you know you've grown. It is just a bump and they happen - refocus and move forward!
ReplyDeleteLast night I wanted a Big Mac, french fries and chocolate milkshake so bad. After I ate it I sat there and bawled because I literally ate 3 times my calories for the day. I hate the feeling that food consumes my every thought and how weak I am to fight off my food urges. You are such an inspiration and you have come so far. This is just a tiny bump in the road and you know what you did and are going to get right back on track again. Its when the binges become the norm that we start to lose ourselves. You have come way too far for that!
ReplyDeleteHi TJ, I LOVE your honesty. We've all been there!! Hang in...and go forward with your head held high!
ReplyDeleteLoosing control sucks. I think that's the worse. Not eating something "bad" but letting the food control me.
ReplyDeleteJust a bump for sure. Hope you have a great weekend!
Sounds like it was just a bump in the road. Try not to beat yourself up over it.
ReplyDeleteI confess I skipped the scale today. I knew with the week I've had & the havoc painkillers wreak on my system it wouldn't be a "true" number and I couldn't face seeing a bad number again. Next week will be better... for both of us! :)
Aww. we are all human and we all lose control every now and then. I know it's scary when you have a "moment" but think of it as just one "moment" and not some dragged out thing, spiralling out of control. I'm still struggling with the concept of control around food. I'm not sure if I'll EVER get there but every day I don't binge and purge is a little victory for me. I can't afford to get complacent about it because that's when I'm most vulnerable. It's been said loads of times that drug addicts and alcoholics can avoid their temptation but people who have issues with food still have to eat so there's just constant temptation, even if it's not in our house or office, then a short journey away to the nearest shop. Unless you live in Alaska or Siberia I suppose ;)
ReplyDeleteThink of how strong you were to stick the rest of them in the bin, and BURY them. I can definitely say that I have taken stuff from the top of the bin and eat it....shameful, but I'm guessing I'm not alone out there!!!!
*hugs*
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up! It sounds cliche, but today is a new day and a new chance to do better. It's a fresh start :) We have all been there so I can totally empathize. Just don't let this little indiscretion negate how far you've come and how proud you are of yourself for all you've accomplished on this journey! You are awesome!!
So beautiful written and honest, TJ. Thank you for sharing your bump with us. You inspire.
ReplyDeleteHey it was just a little slip! You are back on track and all is well.
ReplyDeletehoney, this is a forever battle for all of us! you saw it, fessed up, ditched the food and are moving on...Yeah you!
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty. :)
ReplyDeleteI've been there so many times TJ - especially these past couple weeks when my husband has been in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteI was a HUGE night time eater before I got married - after my daughter went to bed it was "my time" and that meant I could eat a whole frozen pizza by myself and no one would know.
Um, until I got to be 210 pounds! And with my husband not here, I went back to my old ways these past couple weeks. Even though the hospital had WW entrees and everything!
I ate great during the day, but came home and made pizza, nachos, you name it.
He's home, I've regrouped, but I am confident with my lack of exercise and overeating, the scale is not going to be kind, but I've owned up to it on my blog post the other day - the point is now we can recognize it and take control.
Hugs to you!
Many hugs friend. And, thanks for sharing your struggles. It makes the rest of us feel "normal" when a superstar like you talks about them.
ReplyDeleteMany many hugs. And I'm with you on the ReStart button. RESTARTING NOW. :o)